9:11PM

dying on the inside.

and as much as I hate this feeling…I know it all so much.

there was a time where you cared so much of my presence.

I’m nothing but dust to you now.

nothing but unwritten pages.

I think of you constantly.

you make me feel like I belong somewhere.

I feel alive.

but yet I don’t feel like it.

I wish we could go back to how it was.

but you chose to forget about everything.

I have nothing to build on. 

nothing to rebuild.

acceptance is all it is now. 

to live with change.

I could say, “why?”

but there’s no answer.

I want you to know how much one could care for another.

how far love could go.

if you’d just let me in.

but I think that ship has sailed.

maybe you’re tired.

maybe you’re afraid.

I’m afraid.

I want something to work.

I want to look in to your eyes and know that we just…

fit.

that we can make our own futures.

creating what tomorrow could possibly bring.

that not all things are written in stone.

I feel like I’m falling from the clouds.

I can’t catch my breath.

you’re nowhere in sight.

where are you?

I don’t know if you’re here

inside

but I know that you still exist

I like you A LOT. 

why don’t you like me back?

well I know why.

I just wish you did.

Any of my tumblr followers have a deviantart? I realized I don’t have very many friends who are artists who talk to me on a daily basis. Which I find really sad. If I could have a best friend who also had a strong love and interest for art as much as I do, I would be happy!

I was browsing my dad’s old sketchbook from the 70’s and it inspired me to keep on with my art. Not just for today. But for the rest of my life. I was given a gift. Sorry if that sounds cheesy. I’m not good at very many things. And when I am it’s drawing, listening to people, making sure they feel loved, giving advice, cooking, photography and making good mix cds for people haha. I only have one life to live. And having the ability to draw should be enough reason to make me believe that I’m good for something. Right? So why not pursue it right?

You know what hurts? When someone you like and truly care for admits their deep feelings for someone else. That person NOT being you haha. But they trust you enough to open up to you and tell you all about it. Story of my life.

currently jammin to the new friendly fires album at 2 in the AM.

I’m soo happy!!!!!